Hairdresser picks wrong gremlin

(another post I think is quite funny.)

Once again, I risk a living hell in a fridge full of coffee cake.

Yesterday, walking down New St, I was accosted by a trendy young man in denim, wearing large sunglasses.

"Excuse me, madam, where do you get your hair cut?"

It always takes me several seconds to answer obvious questions like this, several more seconds than most people.

"Erm, umm, er, X, near my house"

"Shall we turn round so you're not facing into the sun?"

"Thank you. Do carry on with your pitch."

"Pitch!" he repeated, sounding amused.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be cruel to people who are trying to sell me things."

He grins.

"How much do you normally spend on your haircut?"

The correct answer is: as little as possible (James, mend this punctuation, please thank you)

"£30"

"would you be interested in having your hair coloured?"

"I suppose so. I'm going a bit grey."

"I love you."

This seems a little strong for a first meeting, and I'm sure he didn't love me for my looks.

"We're offering complete pampering for a few lucky ladies as a promotion for our new salon. Are you interested?"

"I've never really bothered to do any of that. I work in a library and anyway there's no hope."

He looks deeply shocked.

"Baby, why? Don't you want to be the spiciest librarian in the library?"

"No." (Note - I don't think anyone has ever called me 'baby' before.)

"Don't you want guys to look at you when they come into the library?"

"No."

"Some good looking guys must come into the library?"

"Not in the bit where I work."

"I can't believe how little self-esteem you have. Don't you want guys to admire you when you walk down the street?"

"Not particularly. I can't be bothered. It's all too much effort. Why don't you give me one of your leaflets and I'll think about it?"

"Umm well, it costs £50."

"£50!"

At this point, we both realised we were not going to make a deal. He shook my hand politely and said he'd enjoyed talking to me and I said I was sorry he'd been unlucky enough to pick me. He said that was quite all right.

I hope I wasn't too offensive.