A woeful tale of misunderstanding

Scene: a temp agency in the north of Bristol. A gremlin, disguised in its best clothes, comes in, slightly late, for an interview.

A smartly-dressed and excessively friendly recruitment consultant greets the gremlin. They shake hands. The gremlin has never quite got used to shaking hands with other women. It feels wrong.

They take a seat and the gremlin endeavours to be extra friendly in the style of the recruitment consultant.

"So," asks the recruitment consultant, "Tell me about your last role. What would you say were your main duties and responsibilities?" (why do recruitment consultants use the word 'role'? I'm not playing Hamlet here.)

"Well," says the gremlin, heart sinking slightly, "In this job I catalogued the records of a religious organization in Birmingham. That means finding out about the history of the organization, sorting out the papers into order, and putting descriptions of them on a database. I also gave talks about the collection and wrote articles and content for our web site and newsletters."

"And why did you leave this role?"

"It was a short-term project. We had 2 years' lottery funding."

"And what did you do in the role before that?"

"That was quite similar to the first job."

"And why did you leave?"

"I was very keen to work on this project - it was career progression."

"And what did you do in the job before that?"

"We looked after the legal and property records of a local authority, about 7 strongrooms of records. I also worked on introducting a new computer system to the office, not programming, but rewriting office procedures, and training."

"And why did you leave?"

"We wanted to move to the Midlands so we could buy a house." (I suspect that this sounded umprofessional and I should have claimed that the job was some kind of fantastic career progression.)

"What are the three most important things you look for in a role?"

"Interesting work, variety, and a friendly atmosphere."

"What would you say are your three best qualities?"

I hate questions like this.

"I am well-organized, good at IT, and flexible," I say.

"Well," she says, somehow managing to sound extremely friendly and utterly impersonal at the same time, "I don't think we have anything challenging enough for you. I'll give you a call if anything comes up. Goodbye."

"Thank you for your time," I say and leave, feeling depressed.

I buy a drink in a cafe as a reward. A song is playing:

Don't let go, you've got the music in you...
One last step
you only get what you give
don't give up, you've got a reason to live

don't let go you've got the music in you...

which helps a bit.

I drink my drink (not tea or coffee), and wish I could behave like a normal person.