Once upon a time, in a pleasant enclosure in a wildlife park, there lived a koala bear called Tim. He was a serene and happy koala bear, who liked nothing better than to contemplate the world through the bars of his enclosure, while meditatively chewing on a eucalyptus leaf.
In the enclosure next to him, there lived a group of monkeys. One morning, one of the monkeys swung over to the edge of the enclosure and accosted Tim.
"Oi Tim! What's up? What're you doing?"
"I'm eating a leaf," said Tim.
"Eating a leaf!" repeated the monkey, "Eating a leaf! Is that all you do? This is eating!" He grabbed a banana from the floor of his cage, nimbly swung onto the roof and turned upside down, swinging from one arm while eating the banana with the other.
"What d'you think of that, eh? Eh? Eh? Bit more impressive than your...eating a leaf."
"Very good," said Tim.
"You can't do stuff like that," sneered the monkey,"I've seen you climb a tree. It's pathetic."
"I like to do things slowly," said Tim.
"Ooh, slowly," jeered the monkey, "any slower and you'd freeze...Don't you ever do anything interesting?"
"No," said Tim, "I don't like to hurry."
"Well, dullard, I'm off," said the monkey. "Seeya."
Tim settled down and chewed another leaf. Then a second. Then a third. He made his way to the bottom of one of his trees and began to climb it. Slowly. At last, he reached his favourite fork and relaxed, legs dangling, preparing for a pleasant morning's contemplation.
But the monkey's words began to prey on his mind..."dullard"; "slowly"; "pathetic". Was there something wrong with him? Was he the only animal in the park who did things slowly?
The questions refused to go away. He slept. He climbed down the tree. He chewed on some leaves. But still the question haunted his mind. And at last, after several hours' contemplation, they formed themselves into a plan.
In the middle of the afternoon, Tim's keeper arrived to clean his cage and check that he was all right.
The keeper greeted Tim in his customary cheerful fashion.
"Well, little fellow, how are we today?"
Tim liked the keeper, but he found his manner a trifle patronizing. But he did not let this distract him from his arguments, which had been carefully considered.
"Mr Keeper," he began, in a tone of great politeness.
"Yes, Tim," replied the keeper.
"You would like me to be happy, wouldn't you?"
"Yes, of course!" replied the keeper, surprised at this unexpected question.
"My welfare is your most important concern, isn't it?"
"Yes, little fellow, of course it is."
"And if I have a request, a reasonable request, you will do your best to answer it?"
"Indeed, little fellow."
"I would like permission to leave my enclosure for an afternoon. Let me assure you that I have no intention of escaping. I find my enclosure very pleasant. I would like to survey the other animals in the park on a personal matter. I hope you will assist me."
The keeper's surprise grew.
Tim continued. "I would like you to provide me with a pen, a spiral-bound notebook, a rucksack, and a mobile phone. If I encounter any difficulties, I will take the liberty of asking for your assistance in helping me back home."
The keeper looked even more surprised.
"Well, if that's really what you want, I suppose it would be all right. Shall we say tomorrow?"
Tomorrow dawned, and the keeper arrived bright and early with the items that Tim had requested. The monkeys watched with interest as Tim slowly and deliberately packed some eucalyptus leaves, the pen and paper, and the mobile phone into the bag. After he had finished his packing, he stopped and had a little rest. Then he chewed on some leaves for a while, staring contentedly into the distance.
"Oi Tim!" yelled the monkey. "What's the bag for?"
"You'll see," said Tim.
"Oi Tim! How about a change of diet? Have a banana! Eh! Eh!"
Tim ignored him.
The keeper returned, opened the cage, and let Tim out into the wide open space of the park.
"See you later, little fellow,"he said, "Ring me up if you need any help."
Tim slowly made his way across the park, watched in amazement by the cage of monkeys, too dumbfounded to speak.
He stopped by a sign, and studied it. He had no idea that the park was so big. Children's pets area; Penguin Ice Park; Dolphin World; seals; elephants; insects; snakes. Where to begin? What were all these other animals like?
Tim felt very confused, so he sat down and ate a few leaves, leaning against the post. Finally, he decided that he would visit the elephants, since they were very big, and would therefore, perhaps, move slowly.
The sign to the elephant enclosure pointed along a path which led to a spacious, pleasant enclosure, with lots of trees and grass. A large and gentle-looking elephant stood by the fence, swinging her trunk meditatively.
Tim felt hopeful. He took the backpack off his back, pulled out the pad and pen, unscrewed the lid of the pen, then studied the sign on the edge of the enclosure.
He carefully copied the word 'elephant' in his neatest handwriting, and tentatively approached the cage.
"Ahem," he coughed.
The elephant turned slowly on its large round feet and looked at him.
"Good morning," she said politely.
"Good morning," said Tim. "I wonder if you can help me. I am conducting a survey of animals in the park. I am looking for animals who like to do things slowly, so I can feel reassured that I am not the only one. Do you like to do things slowly?"
The elephant put her head on one side and thought.
"It is certainly true that I lead a quiet life. However, elephants also play a vital role in ecology. We tear up the undergrowth and foliage, making room for new plants to grow and bringing light and warmth into densely-packed vegetation."
"Oh," said the koala bear, disappointed, "that wasn't quite what I had in mind. Thank you for your help, though."
"Why don't you go over to the reptile house?" suggested the elephant, "The snakes don't do much all day."
"Thank you," said Tim, "I will."
The encounter had made him feel rather weary, so he said a polite good-bye to the elephant and sat down for a quiet rest. He opened his notebook again, put a large cross next to the elephant's name, and munched on a couple of eucalyptus leaves. After staring into space for a while, he fell asleep.
When he woke, it was the afternoon. Refreshed, he made his way to the Reptile House, and to a large sandy enclosure, full of rocks and dark crevices. Coiled up in a corner was a large snake.
Tim studied the notice on the side of the cage for a moment, and carefully copied the word 'snake' into his notebook.
He politely tapped the glass of the cage with his pen.
"I'm terribly sorry to disturb you..." he began.
The snake did not move, but a single eye opened in the side of one of the coils.
"Yes...you are disturbing me. What do you want?" said the snake.
Tim mustered his courage.
"Do you like to do things slowly?" he asked.
The snake opened his other eye and looked at him. Tim was not sure whether the gaze was friendly, but he held his pen and pad in a confident manner, hoping for an answer. He waited. He waited some more. Still there came no answer. He began to feel optimistic, but then his hopes were crushed by the snake's reply.
"No," said the snake.
Tim was puzzled.
"I do spend a great deal of time asleep. But when I do move, I can be fearsomely fast. You may be familiar with the expression 'the speed of a striking snake'."
"Oh I see," said Tim, struggling to hide his disappointment,"Thank you for your time."
He came out into the sunshine, blinking after the dark of the reptile house. He felt very discouraged. Two such promising animals; two such unexpected answers. Slowly, he made his way to a picnic area, and climbed up on a bench to have a rest. He carefully put the pen and notepad, now bearing another cross into his bag, and began to contemplate the visitors to the park and plan his next move. Gradually his attention became drawn to the conversation of two women sitting on the bench next to him.
"What shall we do now?" said one, an anxious-looking creature, with round glasses and hair cut in a brown bob.
"I don't know," said her friend, who had large brown boots and short cropped blonde hair.
"Well, there's no need to decide yet," said the first woman.
"Mustn't hurry," said the second, nodding sagely.
Tim nearly fell off his chair with excitement. After all his efforts, his patient rambles round the park, his note-taking and reading of signs, he had found not one, but two animals who like to do things slowly!
He leaned over to the woman with the short blonde hair and accosted her:
"Excuse me, madam, but I took the liberty of listening to your conversation. May I ask whether you like to do things slowly?"
The two women gave each other a conspiratorial glance, and laughed.
Tim got out his notebook. Slowly.
"And what kind of animal are you?" he asked. "I can't see a label."
"Oh, we're human beings," said the brown-haired woman.
Tim was puzzled.
"A kind of ape or monkey," added the blonde woman, helpfully.
"Really?" said Tim, aghast. "A kind of monkey? Are you sure? There's a monkey in the cage next to mine and he doesn't look anything like you."
"Shall we go and see?" said the brown-haired woman. "We could take you back if you like."
"Would you really?" said Tim, "That would be splendid!"
So the little procession crossed the park to Tim's enclosure. As they approached, the monkey called from the cage, "Hey Tim! Back already, dullard!"
"Hey monkey!" said Tim, "There are other animals who like to do things slowly," adding, with some satisfaction, "Here they are."
The blonde-haired woman regarded the monkey with badly-concealed distaste while her friend grinned wickedly at Tim.
"And," added Tim,"they're apes like you."
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